"Its not what it looks like".

Is it a coincidence or is it reflex that causes this expression to be the number one line expressed when things are exactly the way they look?

Men and woman get caught in compromising positions all the time. I am sure you have heard stories. The intruders are usually family members which is downright embarrassing for some people or  in most cases, the other half of the monogamous relationship that you are suppose to have, but that miraculously fled your mind. I am referring to its use in the last scenario.

“It’s not what it looks like”, is a useless effort to weaken the intensity of the betrayal of cheating.

To all who have used it; I am sure you know it doesn’t work. The question is; why did you say it in the first place?

 Saying that when you get caught, only intensifies the anger of your “other half”. This is so because in most cases it’s so obvious what is going on and to imply something else is being interpreted as saying that whoever caught you is just plain stupid or stupid enough to believe it is not what it looks like.

People, it is not very original, clichéd is what it is. Cheating is no doubt wrong but we all know it happens. Before you think of cheating, you can try the “cheater’s prayer”. Who knows, it might work, or not.

The reality is that no matter what you say after you get caught; it doesn't undo what you did. It will not erase the sight that was stumbled upon; neither does it lessen the pain. It is not necessary to say, “It’s not what it looks like”, when you are guilty of the obvious, but it’s still common regardless.

This statement isn't specific to anyone. Race, class or genders are not a factor, though some would disagree on the gender angle, but that’s a whole other argument to tackle.

The fact is, I don’t understand it. It’s like lying when the truth is right in front of you. The evidence is stacked up against you, physical evidence, literally. The picture is painted, you’re on exhibition, just give it up already. Accept it, you’re wrong and it doesn’t matter what explanation comes after the statement, it is definitely exactly what it looks like. 

It is too late for a cover up on your part, the ball has left your court and if for some reason you still crave the monogamy you just broke, then don’t say that (Its not what it looks like).

Keep in mind the fact that whatever you say may not help you out of the hole you’re in, so saying it’s not what it looks like, may be the reverse of a ladder out. Closure will not happen in that moment. Emotions are high and rage may be a factor, so worse case scenario, you might need to run, fast.

Violence is not the answer though, just saying.

The way you are perceived in these situations are based solely on sight and in this case, seeing is definitely believing.

Whatever your thoughts are on the statement; I think it’s most likely an expression formed from a reflex reaction, a blank mind due to shock or just plain arrogance.  Yes, some people do believe that “its not what it looks like”, is their get away card and also believe its their first line of persuasion in a foolproof plan to gain the upper hand and talk their way out of the issue. Frankly I am not sure if that belief has any merit because I don’t see it.

The reason for the statement is beyond me, the point is non-existent, at least to me and looks are deceiving but the only deception that will be recognized will be that you were caught in that situation. There is no in between, it is what it is.

Its not what it looks like, it’s my views, my thoughts, my voice.

Posted in: Reflection, Relationships